The language of romance

BedofRosesKitI am browsing the Hallmark wedding anniversary site. (Seventeen years: furniture.) Rarely do I click on other links, and I can’t even retrace how I got to this site (no, honestly), but suddenly I find myself at and thence at The Bed of Roses Kit.

Suspending my natural cynicism, I give it a chance. I read the brief directions:

While you light candles, put champagne on ice, and scatter rose petals amidst the bed sheets your loved one will receive a discreet invitation to a night of romance.

Well, fine. Perhaps the rose petals are provided. Would they be dried? Trying not to think about cleaning up after the rose petals have been dallied on, I continue:

When they arrive their breath will be stolen by the array of amorous. If a carpet of rose petals isn’t love then what is?

Is there a word missing from the first sentence?

I am unable to answer the second sentence.

Progress the evening with chocolate massage oil and massager, than let love take it’s course.

OK, now the mood is ruined. I am entirely unable to progress the evening because of that apostrophe. Another night of love sidelined by bad punctuation.


3 thoughts on “The language of romance

  1. anon fan |

    I was with you… I didn’t even make it to the apostrophe problem. It was the “than” that got me! Oh my! The horror. The moment is ruined. Was there a moment?

    >>Dear anon fan: I have cut-and-posted this (note useful new phrase!) to the right item. No comment, of course, on whether there was or was not a moment …

  2. Well, nylusmilk: This is an interesting comment that has kept me pondering for hours. My conclusion: I think love is perhaps not completely blind but definitely visually impaired. How much one ignores or chooses to ignore has to be a matter of degree. Compare the first heady days of a new relationship when love is definitely blind to the days/ months/ years later on when one recognizes that the beloved has a few minor flaws.

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